My Personal Goals for 2018

Kindness seems to be a theme that continues to steer my thoughts lately--kindness to myself and kindness to my people.

That's not to say that I've been living my life un-kindly, per se, but that kindness might need to take a more active, intentional roll in my days instead of just lazily riding in the side-car.

Jeremiah 31:3 says that God draws us all with unfailing kindness. In a society replete with keyboard warriors, point provers, and social media slactivists who want to blow the loudest horns in the public square, kindness seems out of place. Old fashioned. Forgotten. But kindness is always God's play because it works. Louder words don't work. Witty comebacks don't work. Offense and self-righteousness does not work.

God uses kindness. So that's what I want to use too.

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As always when plotting out a few year-long goals for myself, I've braced all of my good intentions on Luke 2:52--my litmus test for personal growth.

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man."

After mentally sifting through some trouble spots of my last 365 days, I've decided upon four simple ways that I can stack kindness next to wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man.

Here's how I hope to shake out some kindness in 2018.

In wisdom

This past December, I sat in front of a television set to watch the news. It was the first time in a long time. (We don't have TV access, so my news usually comes in podcast form.) To be honest, it felt like America was one big dumpster fire. And while I bristled at the headlines and immediately wanted to strap on my keyboard gloves and throw a few punches on social media, I realized that my gut reaction was a mixed bag of righteous indignation and ignorance. I was angry at certain societal woes, but not entirely sure why I was so angry. I didn't know enough about some of the issues to warrant even a fringe opinion. As Jon Acuff so eloquently said, "Uninformed and outraged is dangerous. Informed and outraged is powerful."

While kindness isn't ignoring problems or looking the other way, it's also not swinging blindly at anything that moves, either. Taking to the airwaves and spouting off my opinion before I know all the facts, is anything but kind. Kindness is doing my part to be fully informed about societal issues, pushing all of those issues through a grid of Scripture, and then putting feet to my opinions, not just words.

So this year, I want to dig deeper and learn more about current events so that my conversations can be led by facts instead of just feelings.

In stature

In 2017, I began seeing some unhealthy warning signs in myself. I was feeling burned out. Depleted. It wasn't until I set aside a weekend last June and one again in the first part of December to invest in my own personal passions that I realized just how parched and brittle I had become. Juggling homeschool, 2 businesses, friendships, church responsibilities, a writing schedule, and my own live-in circus of 7 had drained me of all my emotional reserves. Those short bits of self-care went a long way to nourish my soul. But, I knew they were only baby steps. For the sake of self-preservation, I needed to make kindness to myself a bit more of a priority. 

I can no longer pour from an empty cup. So this year, I'm going to make an effort to build short bursts of fun into my days. Just for me. I don't have the time, energy, or resources for weekend trips every month, nor do I think moments of rest need to be feast or famine. I can grant myself simple pleasures all throughout the month...like a few minutes to soak in the tub with a good book, a trip to a bookstore with a friend, time to linger over a cup of coffee.

I plan to sprinkle kindness of some sort or other into each and every one of my days for my health and sanity's sake. As a recovering DO addict, I'm learning to just BE. I can only carry what's mine to carry. I cannot do more today than today allows. My family doesn't need me to check all the boxes. In short, I don't have to set myself on fire to keep others warm. So this year, I'm giving myself permission to think of me sometimes. 

In favor with God

I've felt a gaping hole in my spiritual walk lately. Discipleship. I'm a firm believer that as a Believer, I should always be reaching forward to women further along on the spiritual journey and reaching back to help lead those just a few steps behind me. The kindness of discipleship reaffirms the words of Ephesians 4 which reminds us all to use the measure of faith we've been given to help other Believers grow towards maturity. In other words, I've been tasked to use my measure and to allow others to use theirs. But, I'm not. At least I haven't been.

Since stepping out of a mentorship program three years ago, I haven't really found any outlets for ministering or being ministered to. I serve. I volunteer in church. I kinda do the grunt labor--clean the kitchen, man the children's library, set up the "apartments" for our homeless ministry. But none of this translates into much face-to-face discipleship. Consequently, my relationship with the Body has grown kind of stagnant. I used to teach a women's Bible study on Wednesday nights, but I don't anymore. I volunteered to mentor teen girls in our youth group, but I stepped out of that as well.

This year, I'll continue hosting my weekly small group on Monday nights which is essentially just me and my two best friends chatting, drinking far too much coffee, praying, and studying a faith-driven book together (like this one or this one), but I'm also going to be intentional about discipling and being discipled. I'm not exactly sure what that will look like at this point, but I'm hopeful and waiting expectantly for whatever God has on the horizon.

In favor with man

Kindness to my children this year will look like donuts and cocoa. Two simple ways to add delight to our days.

This past year, a donut shop opened up in our little Mayberry. It's only a mile or so up the road. It opens at too-early-o'clock every morning. And it sells donuts for cheap!--three very good reasons why I plan to take each of my kids out for breakfast donuts on their birthdays. Just one kiddo, one mom, and lots of donuts. In the grand scale of awesome, donuts don't score that high, but my kids love them. And even more importantly, they love having undivided time with me on their special day.

Also, I hope to do more out-and-about school. Every once in awhile, we take this show on the road to a local coffee/cocoa shop to enjoy a treat while we work. A different scenery always has a way of calming our fragile spirits in the dead of winter when negative temps have us all at full Red Rage with each other. Now that my kids are older and getting out the door no longer requires all of my courage, I hope to make these trips for cocoa a regular liturgy in our months. We're homeschoolers, so we can. It's one of the perks.

My plumb line

Resolutions have a way of only getting half-baked before they burn up. Disappointment and guilt are often the collateral damage. I have no desire to roll onto my back and show my belly like a defeated dog should any of these goals misfire. So, I'm giving myself lots of freedom and swallowing kindness up in big graceful gulps. My plumb line for New Year's success will be forward motion. Not perfect motion, just slow-and-steady progression. Goals aren't attained all by themselves, so I know I'll have to do the hard work. But since kindness is one of the fruits gifted to me (and all Believers) by the Spirit, I know I have all I need for success in 2018. Kindness I can do!

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