The Ticket Journey to Obedience

Written by Krista Smith.

If there's one thing I pray for on repeat, it's, “Help me, Good Lord, to raise children who’ll follow you with abandon…without losing my mind…or getting too many more grey hairs…Amen.”

There are days when it seems like I can’t go 15 minutes without a rebuke or a correction. (You know the days.) I'd rather figure out what is going on in the hearts of my kids than just "get by" or make it to the end of the day. I'd like to lead my children in the way they should go--to find a salve to their souls and to mine.

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I attended a Bible study a few years back led by a local pastor’s wife who had successfully raised three beautiful children, all of whom were passionately serving Christ as adults. She mentioned having used The Ticket Journey to Obedience and I thought That’s it, Lord! I think this is just what our family needs!

Here’s a peek at how this method has helped my husband and I mold the character of our children while allowing the Spirit to flourish—and how it has helped me keep our homeschool day on track even when a strong-will rears its head, threatening to throw our day into a drawn-out hostage negotiation.

This is meant to help our children gain personal accountability for their own thoughts, actions, and words while helping them seek God’s much better way. We can’t manage their behavior for them forever. They’ll have to own their actions someday--but this can help!

 

Creating a Ticket Journey

STEP 1: Make up a journey sheet for each child listing both the rules and the consequences for breaking those rules. As the parent, you choose what these consequences will be and should be prepared to follow through with said consequences—EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Consistency is key.

Our kids write out a scripture (which speaks to whatever their particular struggle of the moment is), 5 times on a sheet of paper in a quiet room. We encourage them to pray through the Scripture every time they finish writing a line, earnestly asking Jesus to help them.

STEP 2: List one skill you want to work on. When your child has gotten sufficiently better at said skill, keep it on the list but print out a new version with a second, then third and fourth skill until over several months’s-time you have a good representation of what is expected of your children in your home every day. These should be goals that are attainable given the child’s age and development. These should not be nitpicky things…they should be character-shaping things.

I then list two Scriptures directly associated with obedience. These Scriptures are good reminders for everyone to see every time we walk past the fridge.

STEP 3: Determine how many tickets you want your kids to start the morning with and set them out in a designated spot. Every morning, JOYFULLY read the sheet from start to finish with your child(ren) so they know what is expected of them that day.

Our tickets are simple pieces of paper that have been laminated for durability. I've written one child's name on the front and attached a magnet to the back of each one. My kids each get four to start the morning and then I "reset" the tickets after lunch because everyone needs a little grace!

STEP 4: Write out specific Scriptures on 3x5 notecards to go with each of the character traits you are shaping and place them nearby. Be careful not to use Scripture as a battle-ax, but rather as honey-to-the-tongue or a tool to lead your child into a closer relationship with their loving Father. For instance, instead of using Proverbs 12:22, which essentially says that God hates lying lips, try using Ephesians 4:25, "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." While both verses are true, the latter encourages a child in the way he should go.

Now you’re ready to start your day!

Implementing a Ticket Journey

Here's how you can put a Ticket Journey into action each day:

Let’s say your son is working on not shouting at his sister.

He shouts at his sister.

Give him a verbal warning reminding him of what is expected.

If he shouts at his sister again, bring him to the journey sheet where you've placed the rules and the tickets and have him do the following:

• Remove a ticket and hand it to you.
• Read the consequence section (STEP 1).
• Read the rule he broke (STEP 2).

Finally, sit him down with a piece of paper, a pencil, and the Scripture index card that corresponds to the behavior or skill he's struggling with. Instruct him to write the Scripture five times, praying through each one and asking Jesus to help him and forgive him.

When he is done, encourage him to apologize to anyone he needs to and then move on. Don’t beat any dead horses. There's no need for 20-minute lectures. Let God’s Word and the Holy Spirit’s conviction do the heavy lifting.

Is this a magical cure? No. I’ve had a child lose all the morning tickets in the span of 2 minutes! True story. Is it a worthy endeavor anyhow? You bet.

I cannot tell you what a change this has made in our family. I no longer have the proverbial monkey on my back. If I’m more miffed at my son's behavior than he is, then I’m “wearing the monkey." The Ticket Journey helps get the monkey off my back and onto his. He knows the rules. He can choose to follow them or not. And while I can’t make that choice for him, I can calmly walk him to the fridge and lead him lovingly in the way he should go (Prov 22:6).

The Ticket Journey has helped to make our homeschool day feel less like a battle field and more like a character-development petri-dish. Loving discipline--leading a child’s heart into the hands of the Father--has been so much better than anything else we’ve tried. God is answering my daily desperate prayer. I've not lost my mind yet. And the grey hairs? Well, I suppose there's always Clairol.

To download your free

Ticket Journey Printables

*These printables are FREE but are for personal use only. In downloading the following files, you are agreeing not to copy, reproduce, or alter them except for your own personal, non-commercial usage. In addition, you are also agreeing not to share or publicly display any or all parts of the materials on Facebook, in an email, or in person. If you wish to share the downloads with others, please share a direct LINK to this post.

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Krista Smith is blessed to be the mother of three beautiful children and is privileged to homeschool them using an eclectic variety of methods. She has a deep and abiding love for tan-colored coffee, spending time with her family, and seeing children find their forever homes through adoption. But above all of these things, Krista is, first and foremost, a lover and follower of Jesus Christ. So, may the Lord and His Gospel get every ounce of honor, glory, and credit for anything she writes, says, or does.

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