3 Hospitality Hacks for a Life-Giving Home

7 women and 12 tween and teen girls joined my daughter and I for a mother/daughter tea party a few weeks ago. I pushed aside furniture, wrote out some name tags, and somehow crowbared them all into my teeny-tiny dining room. We played parlor games, ate food, laughed hard, and learned about being ladies who take the Truth of God's Word with us wherever we go. 

In one quiet moment, one of the moms causally tossed out the question that was perhaps on everyone's mind, "Why did you do all this? What made you want to host a night like tonight?"

And my answer?

Well, it was quite simple. "Investment."

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That particular night was about investing in the life of my daughter by investing in the lives of her friends. It was about creating a space where memories are made and faith is formed. It was about shaping a home that is life-giving.

Scripture would call that hospitality. And it's something that all Christians are called to do. It's one way that we can be love wrapped in flesh. 

And so, I open my home.

I embrace scruffy hospitality knowing that my imperfections...my messy kitchen, my over-salted meals, my mix-matched service ware...reveal my need for Christ. I gather people around my table. I linger. I love. I open my arms wide to those who need a safe place to land because sometimes a hot cup of coffee and a listening ear is a simple way to gently wash the feet of those who need it most...it's a no-frills way to bring life into their lives. 

In her book, The Life-Giving Home, Sally Clarkson writes,

“All people need a place where their roots can grow deep and they always feel like they belong and have a loving refuge. And all people need a place that gives wings to their dreams, nurturing possibilities of who they might become.”

That's what I want for my people. That's what I want for my home. 

In the past {nearly} fifteen years of marriage, our house has been home to...

Bible studies

mentorship/discipleship gatherings

progressive dinners

tea parties

surprise birthday parties

missionary dinners

supper clubs

mother/daughter clubs

work luncheons

holiday parties

cookie exchanges

bread baking workdays

fall harvest parties

historically-themed meals

canning workdays

costume parties

impromptu meals with friends

game nights

Bunco parties

homeschool support groups

co-op

hygge group

freezer meal workdays

quilting bees

large family dinners

Thanksgiving for displaced members of the community

baby showers

football parties
planning meetings

I've hosted a lot of gatherings around my table. But while the themes and events have changed, the human need to belong has always remained the same.

Over the years, I've come up with three simple hacks to allow me to have open-home hospitality with ease.

Thrifted white dishes

Somehow in the first eight years of marriage, I accumulated not one, but five complete sets of dishes...the speckled ones I used for our Easter brunch and dessert parties, the blue and white ones that were gifted to us and that collected dust at the back of the cupboard, the special Christmas ones used only during the month of December, the clear glass ones set out for all other holiday meals, and the light tan ones brought out for every day use. I was a dish hoarder. (The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?)

Fast forward a bit...

By year ten or eleven, I had cupboards full of dishes...none of which matched or went with the current decor of my kitchen.

Because the truth is, over time, my dishes broke. Four out of the five sets. They got chipped and cracked and lost. At best, I could scrape together an entire table setting of Christmas dishes and enough matching everyday-plates to serve five or six. Did I mention there are seven people in my family?

So, I made the decision to purge the clutter and switch to all white dishes. I began picking them up at tag sales, yard sales, and thrift shops for a few pennies each. I brought them home and pieced together an ever-evolving collection of shabby chic table ware.

None of the pieces match in shape or style giving the entire collection a modern eclectic flair. They pair well with every holiday and event because white can easily be dressed up or down. It's universal. As an added bonus, I never have to fret when one of my plates or cups get chipped or cracked because it can easily be replaced for under a buck. (So bring even your littlest ones to my table. They can eat on the BIG plates like everyone else!)

Disposable meal trays

One peak into my cupboards shows a healthy stash of disposable tin meal trays. I buy them often at the dollar store and squirrel them away so that I always have them at-the-ready. When a neighbor is sick, a friend has a baby, or someone in my community is in a financial bind, I can bring him/her a no-hassle meal in minutes. Whether I take a meal I had made weeks ago out of my own freezer to stick in theirs or prepare something fresh to drop off at the dinner hour, I always like to hand over my offerings in an eat-and-toss container. My friend-in-need can enjoy a hot meal and not have the burden of washing and returning anything to me.

Default meal plan

If you invite me to a potluck or party, I can guarantee you that I will bring Strawberry Bars. If you're sick and in need of a meal, I'll deliver Chicken Alfredo (or sometimes Scalloped Potatoes and Ham), salad, and homemade bread to your door. Pinky swear. I rarely ever change course. I make these dishes and have made these dishes for every event outside my home for the past four years.

While, it might sound kind of boring to always bring the same thing, the truth is, most people in need are just so grateful for something hot and tasty to eat, that they never notice what is or is not included on the menu. Food made and shared with love is always appreciated.

Saying YES to a default meal plan, however boring, means I can freely say YES every time I'm asked to bring food. I make it a point to always have the ingredients on hand and can whip up a meal from memory in just minutes. No decision fatigue when trying to choose what to bring. No random trips to the store at the last minute to grab ingredients. No worry about whether the meal will turn out tasty. I stick to the same-old-same-old because simple means doable.  

Strawberry Bars

1 1/2 c. old fashioned oats

1 1/2 c. flour

3/4 c. brown sugar

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1 3/4 sticks of butter

1 small jar of strawberry jam (raspberry or rhubarb works well too)

Directions

In a stand mixer, mix the first five dry ingredients. With mixer on medium speed, drop in pats of butter, one tablespoon at a time. Slowly mix until the dough is course and crumbly. Pour half of the oat crumble/dough into a greased 9x13 casserole dish. Spread evenly. Top with dollops of jam. Then, layer the rest of the dough crumble on top. Spread evenly. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 30-40 minutes. Cool slightly. Serve hot or cold. 

A final word

In two weeks, I'll be gathered in my living room with a dozen or so homeschooling mommas. I've invited them over for a back-to-homeschool party. Currently my kitchen is under construction and my living room carpet could use some prayer. But, we'll all be gathered just the same. We'll sip coffee and share stories. We'll huddle together in solidarity, carpet stains and all, because I choose present over perfect. I choose to create a home that gives life. I choose to do small things with big love. I choose to invite the broken, the tired, the hungry and position my days for hospitality.

"Every day in each inch of space, each rhythm of time, each practice of love, we have the chance to join God in coming home, in living so that we make a home of this broken and beautiful world all over again. Love is enfleshed in the meals we make, the rooms we fill, the spaces in which we live and breathe and have our being."                             ~Sally Clarkson, The Life-Giving Home