I'm NOT an Unschooler...and here's why

I was browsing Pinterest the other day and somehow stumbled upon a pin from my own blog. I chuckled to see that it had been pinned to a board entitled "unschooling." Someone had been curating ideas for unschooling and had included one of my posts in the bunch.

So, I giggled just a wee bit.

Not because unschooling is funny.
Or that the idea of an unschooler using one of my posts is somehow funny.

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Neither one is humorous in the slightest.
What is funny to me, however, are all the homeschooling labels I've been branded with since starting this online neighborhood.

I've been called a school-at-homer, an unschooler, and everything in between.

The truth is, I'm not any of those. I'm eclectic. I don't prescribe to any one particular homeschooling mantra because I don't think any ONE way of homeschooling works for every child for every subject all of the time.

Period.

One look at my Instagram feed might give you the impression that I lean more heavily toward unschooling. But, that's only because a picture of a whittling project is so much more interesting than a picture of a page of math facts.

While I certainly wholeheartedly embrace delight-directed or passion-directed learning and while I've read through the "gospel" of unschooling, I'm NOT an unschooler, and here's why...

I don't parent that way, so why would I school that way?

Our home is not a child-centered home. It is a God-centered one. While I certainly value and listen to my children's input on certain issues, I don't let their voices be the final vote. Ever. God's Word and His leading in our hearts is always the "buck" that stops here. A child-centered home, and more specifically, a child-centered education breeds entitlement and a self-centered child. I'd much rather grow missional-minded kids. Kids who think of others ahead of themselves as Philippians 2:4 says. So, no. My home and my homeschool are not child-centered. God steers our home, not my children.

I have a broad perspective on life. My kids don't.

At six, I used to mumble under my breath, "Why do I have to know these stupid addition facts anyway? I'll never use them!" 'Cuz I was six. That's what six-year-olds say. Now as a thirty-six-year-old adult, I can appreciate all of that "stupid stuff" that I was exposed to way back when. 

I have lived longer and have experienced more than my children. I have the benefit of a broader perspective. I can see that although my kids might not be all that jazzed about memorizing math facts right now, the information will benefit them greatly later in life.

In the same way that I serve them asparagus at dinner even though none of them really like it, I serve them math facts and spelling words during school time. If I left all the choices up to them, they would most likely opt for McDonald's for every meal and video games for their education. Because they're kids! They don't always see the harm or the good in the long term. 

I just don't think a child-centered education is Scriptural.

Scripture makes it very clear that "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." Kids in their immaturity and overall life-ignorance are foolish. Discernment and wisdom usually come with age and experience. That is why, by God-given delegation, parents are the trainers and the teachers. It is a great privilege, but it comes with great responsibility. Unschooling puts the child in the teacher's seat and usurps the God-given order of the training model. It's an educational humanism.

I think unschooling is not a true reflection of the real world.

As a new mother, I was never really all that excited about changing poopy diapers. But ya' know what? I did it. All the time. Because, as a general rule, society frowns on the acrid smells that messy diapers leave behind. And clothes shopping? Hate it. With every fiber of my being. But I do it. Because public nudity is also a no-no. In the adult world, we have to do not-so-fun things all the time, because that's life.

Since my end goal of parenting is not to raise children to be children but to be adults, I have to prepare my kids to accept HAVE TOs with grace. Unschooling, to me, seems unloving. In creating a world where my children are only encouraged to do the tasks they most want to do and to learn the things they most want to learn, I am crippling them. I am not preparing them for the harsh realities of reality. I am not introducing them to hard, un-fun stuff and helping them to navigate through it all. In the same way that I am not an "I just want my child to be happy" parent, I'm not an unschooling one. 

I know the simple truths of brain development.

I'm not a doctor and I don't have a bunch of fancy letters behind my name proclaiming some sort of brilliance, but this I know for sure...my 36-year-old mind is not what it used to be. I'm forgetful. This old dog doesn't learn new tricks well. But my seven-year-old, on the other hand? He has a mind like a sponge and can memorize large quantities of information very quickly. Because that's just the simple truth of brain development. Young kids have the capacity to memorize all the live long day. Old people do not. The end.

The unofficial unschooling mantra is "a child will learn it when he needs it." But that way of thinking goes directly against the basic laws of biology. Let me explain. Years ago as a tween, I memorized a whole lot of Scripture. I didn't choose to. It was just something my Sunday School teachers wanted me to do. So I did it...because I was young and compliant. To be honest, I didn't think I needed to know any of those verses, but I memorized them easily because I had a young brain. Now as an adult, I can quickly recall verse upon verse when I need them most because those Words are cemented in my long-term memory. But, ask me to memorize a new verse now with my old brain, and you might as well ask me to cure cancer. I just don't have it in me.

My kids might not want to memorize verses. But, by memorizing them now while their brains are able to memorize information so easily, they are saving themselves a whole lot of brain fatigue later when the truth might feel a little more relevant and meaningful but a whole lot more difficult to remember. 

A final word

It is not my desire to be divisive or to marginalize anyone who chooses to unschool. I simply want to set the record straight about why I don't unschool.

You might say I'm a Charlotte Mason-Thomas Jefferson-delight directed-unit study-project based learning-Montessori-strewing-classical-sneaky schooler. But, then again, that doesn't look too pretty on a label. So, maybe just skip the label altogether. 

I'm not a school-at-homer and I'm not an unschooler. But, I'm pretty comfortable landing somewhere in the middle. I take the best and leave the rest of these and other methods to put together a tailor-made education for each of my children.

I play to their passions with purpose.